CASTING : 7 men - 4 women
ORCHESTRAL REPRESENTATIONS AND DANCERS.
George 45 à 50 ans…..Steffy’s father, Simone’husband.
Simone 40 à 45 ans…..Steffy’mother, George’s wife
Steffy 20 à 25 ans…..Simone and George’s daughter
Maria 65 à 80 ans…..Duty cleaner
Brenda 65 à 80 ans…..Simone’s mother and Calvin’s sister
Robert 40 à 55 ans…..Gardener
Clayton 45 à 60 ans…..Notary
David Agronsky 25 à 35 ans…..Policeman
Ali 20 à 25 ans…..Engaged to Steffy
Calvin 60 à 70 ans…..Uncle from Australia, Brenda’s brother
Bart 45 à 65 ans…..Healer and conveyor
Representation. Great Emir, his suite, dancers, orchestra.
George: Steffy’s father, inhabitant of North Caroline, with a serious accent, blunderer, nervous, this boss of bar, relentless pigeon fancier; is overtaken by events which arrive at him. He won an important prize for Lottery, it creates him much embarrassments.
Simone: George’s wife, Walloon conceited, she has a holy horror of the pigeons, very smart and respectable woman, but irritated by the eternal blunders of her husband.
Calvin : The uncle of Australia, took the accent of his country of adoption. He is a cheerful being, he comes back after a long absence.
Maria : Duty cleaner, without education, speaks as in the slums, a deaf person when it arranges her. Cigarette end in the mouth, man's socks, scarf on hair, hideous make-up, old apron, not pretty for 2 cents, vulgar and blind as a bat.
Ali : Future engaged to Steffy, eagerly awaited, arabic accent, sun-tanned skin.
Robert : The erudite gardener, he knows all the learned names of plants. Very funny role.
Clayton : Sir Notary, affected, serious and very educated man, will he make of bargains ? Small knot butterfly, smooth shoulder-length hair.
David : The law is the law, Steffy pleases him a lot, but very shy nature … David, of Jewish confession. Will he dare to declare himself ?
Brenda : Simone’s mother, comes to spend a few days of holidays, is this the right time ?
Steffy : Girl of the house, waits the most beautiful day of her life; but …
Bart: Dutch speaker, he has the accent of it. He knows alternative medicine and is conveyor of the pigeon foncier company.
LOTTO - PIGEONS - OIL
( At first, an old lady (Maria), duty cleaner (kind bad-mannered madam, brushes the parquet. She has a cigarette end in the mouth, man's socks in feet, and big glasses of nearsighted)
Maria : Look at this dust, every day it is similar, I’m sick of all this. In ninety years it’s over, I stop, terminus. My rheumatisms are felt, and I am as old as my arteries …( She lifts the carpet and pushes dusts down). Well… when the vacuum cleaner will be repaired, he will swallow all this… while waiting … neither seen nor known. ( The telephone rings) oh… the clock is still unsettled, it’s like me … oh no, it is the telephone. Hello? Yes .who?... miss Steffy ? she is not… .What ? Hou … I hear you by far .. please, speak up, I don’t understand you !... No, she is not here .. When she will be there ? I dont know, sir … what have I to tell her ? That you love her… Send your messages by yourself, me, I don't care! What? I don’t understand you… but no… I am not deaf .. He irritates me, this bachi-bouzouk, I hang up! We would say a Martian … pouh he irritates me .. Not she is not there! It would be necessary to clean your ears, my friend !…Ha finally, you understood ? Yes Salikoum Salam, but what does it mean ? How? Haaaa… goodbye…that’s fine !.. hello, salam salam. (hang up) He is a foreigner, but where from? Ramikoum salam, plamikoum salem…I dont understand anything in his gibberish !…
Simone: (Comes on stage side bar with a bag of reserves)
Maria, there were good prices to the market on fresh products… put them fast in the refrigerator. What did you prepare us for the dinner?
Maria : potatoes, leeks and pork sausage …
Simone : sausage? But we have still eaten it on Saturday.
I took the first package which was in the freezer. And then on Saturday it was some little one, today it is some big one. And in sausages, believe me, I know a little bit. (laughing)
Simone: why do you so laugh Maria ?
Maria : oh nothing, I remembered of all the meters that I saw parading in my life. Just to make the round trip Boston-Washington !...
Simone : Ho…Maria, at your age ! You still dream about it ?
Maria : Oh yes madam, and in wartime if I had had only a little one from time to time, I would less be bad-tempered today.
Simone : Oh…it’s already 9:45 am! The inn quickly fills with the funerals.
Maria : I am going to tidy up all this, and peel my potatoes. Well…Go, old ass, on the way! (Exit)
Simone: …. (the telephone rings again) hello! Who ? Steffy ? No sir, she is absent ….. To whom do I have the honor of speaking ? Who ? How ?..... Can you spell ?. Ali Omar Chekikene Abdellah … Ah … Ali … Yes, it is simpler… where do you phone from. ? From Dubai in Abu Dhabi? Where is it ?.... In the United Arab Emirates … Oh…... I shall tell my daughter when she is back … (Maria goes out of the kitchen and listens to by pretending to rub an imaginary spot on the door) .. The hour of her return ?..... (Simone whispers, putting the hand on the cornet of the receiver) oh what an accent) I shall announce her your call .. yes you can be sure … I do not understand what you tell me malicoum salam, ha! It means goodbye so… as you have just said it then, zizicoumsalam !!!
Maria : It is still "him" with his funny accent ?
Simone : His name is "Ali" … .Abdoulla Omar... Who can he be ? A call from the Arab emirates... My goodness … How has Steffy relations so distant ? (Looking at her watch) she should not delay any more in principle.
Maria: the children of today don’t have more than a luck on ten to fall on a real american !
Simone: even in America, there are many communities. But a foreigner from so far !... My God…what will say George ?
Maria : madam, something else presses, the demijohn of propane is empty and it is necessary to help me.
Simone: straightaway let’s go to change it. (going out) there is one in the delivery.
George: (Steps in and calls Simone, his wife, who does not hear him) .SIMONE Simone!
When we need a woman in this house we do not find her. Simone…. but where she still hides… (He is searching in the cupboard to change money, Steffy arrives). Ha ! Steffy…I’m glad to see you, my daughter, please, take control of the bar while I change this bill, I'll be right there…
Steffy : hello dad. I don’t have time to arrive and I am commited immediately by you.
George : Excuse me, Darling, hello my daughter, I don’t find your mom and I don’t like leaving the customers alone. Well… I have the money finally.
Steffy : I change myself and I arrive…
(George goes out…)
Steffy : this bar irritates me. (she switches on the radio, puts down her clothes on the divan, and does
hair in front of the mirror) just arrived and… hup… to
the bar… ugh …But… where is my mother? (She opens doors and shouts everywhere) Mom?... Mom …Well…never mind !… I go to room otherwise in 5 minutes it will be the war.
( Steffy goes out, George returns immediately, the radio is still working)
George : it is already the third 50 dollars bill I change in one hour. 15 and 30 of the month I would need
a wheelbarrow of change.
(The radio announces … .. in a few moments, the breaking news of 10 am, presented by Peter Charbs, on NBC radio)
George : 10 am already, it's time to give to eat to my pigeons, I am late and there is nothing bader for them. This is the way I would loose a championship. If they had stomach cramps, I would be sick there.
( The radio): hello .. let us begin this newspaper with the results of the national lottery of this Saturday, the amount of the jackpot was, I remind it to you, of 25 million dollars. It was necessary to play … (While he is speaking, the radio announces the numbers of the lottery : 38, 12, 8, 23, 30, 2 stars 3, 7. George searches in his currency.)
George : They say that there is no more money, and now I have to change bills non-stop. That breaks my balls.
( George having listened to the radio, hears the numbers and speaks to the radio) What ? How ?... Can you repeat it… .. Thundering typhons !!!...
( The announcer : I repeat the numbers for those who would not have taken note. Do you have enough to write?)
George : it is true, that … quick, a scrap of paper … where ? ... (He turns a drawer) … .My pen … .. when is needed something here …Well … (38, 12, 8, 23, 30, … .the two stars 3, 7. (No paper… he writes on his hand)
( The annoncer : 8 winners will share the tidy sum of 1.123.000 dollars, and there is a Belgian among the winners. Now, let’s go on our newspaper with the sports results of this weekend ….)
George : not possible…it’s not possible !!! These numbers tell me something .Well… where is my ticket of lottery ? My ticket… .quick… (He turns all the drawers this time, at top speed) But where is it ?... help, help, somebody stoled my ticket… .Simone… Simone…. They stoled my ticket !!! … (He opens all the doors) Steffy, block the door of the café. .Simone….
Simone: what still happens to you ? Look at this shambles, you turned all the sideboard. You become crazy, we would say a tsunami!
George : Simone … Simone… out of pity, fast!....
Simone: (She switches off the radio) I am going to call a shrink… it seems to me urgent.
George : fast…Simone !!!
Simone: fast ? What Fast ?
George : my ticket of Lottery !
Simone: what ticket of Lottery ?
George : I need it at once … Where is it ? (By pretending to choke his wife)
Simone: It is where you usually put it, in the soup tureen.
Gérard: it is true … .It is the emotion … excuse me darling … .. it is the shock.
Simone: such a din, for a piece of paper ?
George : I have hem… I have hem… incredible….I won … (He verifies on his hand, catches Simone and made her turn …singing) tralalalalère, tralalala, since the time
that I play these numbers… thank you, my God ..
Simone: but what happens to you, George ?
George : I won, I won…. We are dollar millionaires, and from now on the bar (he makes a v-sign) that is what I think of it, we close at once. (He kisses Simone by tightening her in his arms) (Maria enters exactly.)
Maria : well, here is a show which we are not used to see in this house. Instead of kissing, you would do better to come and help me, or then no sausages today. I am not still going to do everything, alone !!!
George : we shall go to the restaurant, old vixen. From now, Darling, you become Madam Simone. Finished the duties, the hours behind the counter, the gossips of the customers, the low bows to the
left and to the right.
Simone: I am going to sit down, I am going to faint …
George : we are going to make build either buy the villa of our dreams. With flowerbeds, trees of all the countries, garden, greenhouses, pond, dovecote ..
Simone : what ? … another dovecote ?
George : It would be lacking more than I forget what I have of dearer in the world. Euh….after you of course …
Simone : would you compare me with a pigeonne ? When I depilate my legs, I have hairs, no feathers… 32 years when I accept, by love for you, your fowls, their smells and germs ! With your winnings, you will widely have the means to entrust them to somebody else. That will not prevent you from going to see them but .. Shaved, perfumed and dressed as a dandy.
George : my little Darling, you are right. It's OK…no more pigeons. But… it is unfortunate with such champions. Brunette: 1st price to Washington, Grisette 1st price to Boston, Mouchette 1st price in New Orleans, Marquis .. record holder for speed in Seattle … There are so many pigeon fanciers who would dream to have champions as mine.
Simone : as you won championships not long ago, it is the moment to resell them.
George : A similar four aces have no price !
Simone: in your appearance, I suppose that these are empty promises.
George : (talks about something else…) Ah ! I forgot John's currency. He hangs on to the counter all day long, he does not risk to fall, that one! After all, it is
not so urgent … He will not be parched!
Simone: With these funerals, all the big heads of the municipality are there.
George : At 10:30 am, we bury the alderman of sports and we can be sure that the elected representatives will remain while waiting for 3:00 pm the funeral of Count of Possom, and there will be some more people to drink heavily, and not some waters… it is not them who pay. (Maria spies behind the door, not hearing everything, she opens the door and wipes with a cloth imaginary tracks)
Simone : the farewells are going to last all day long for the municipal staff. When I think that they do not make already much …. If I had to do the same thing, I would make me municipal secretary !
George : the funeral of 3:00 pm I have to go there, I can’t do otherwise.
Simone : the Count was the president of the circle pigeon foncier ? You have never missed an assembly, it is certain that you are not going to miss his putting in the coffin !
George : it is not good to talk like that about the Gentleman Count, a man so kind, so devoted for our circle, a real sponsor. Being the oldest it is to me that returns the honor to carry its crown and to make the speech. Rather than looping after your nose, read its announcement … that will make you smart…
Simone: Oh… it is moving … There is the tree of all the family, he is of the lineage of a queen … … He took care of many things … .my God what a list … Listen to that … Founder member of the municipal library, Knight of the order of the Crown, President highly skilled in Solidaris, Honorary president of the choir Barcarole, the donor member of EB of the emigrants …
George : EB ? what does it mean ?
Simone : Empty Box , I think.... President of the club of the card players … Fighting 40-45 …Made Colonel on … .I pass .Treasurer of the sports club of Carmel … And that’s not all… I think that he did not have time to sleep, this man !
George : You forget especially his big claims to fame… controller of the Poultry circle and Cuniculicole . Supervisor of the philatelic circle ( The stamped
crazy). Police captain of the horticultural circle ( The red rose) and finally … President of the circle pigeon fancier.
Simone : it is certainly this post which finished him. Ah… these pigeons of misfortune …
Steffy : you take time there to change a bill, dad ! The café is filled and you , please, change this one too, it is the one of the forest warden. He has much feathers on his hat… it is funny and John is always waiting for his currency.
George : this guard never came here, well, give him his bill and John too.. it is the house which pays. As the bar closes, they have only to go to the café of 6 arms farther.
Steffy : It’s not Chrismas, now….
George : We are going to be in holidays for our whole life…eternal rest !!!
Steffy : You become completly crazy, Daddy !…You think you're an annuitant?
George : You said my daughter ... ..I’m losing it ... or rather say that the balls are dropped.
Steffy : What is this story of balls ? I dont understand !!!
George : My daughter ; Your father has just had her well placed balls ...at the Lottery !…
Steffy : You have what ?…You won ???…No !!!
George : Yes !!!
Steffy : Wow…are you sure? What news. (We hear knocking on bistro tables) What ruckus, we can not leave them alone 2 minutes.
George : (He opens the door of the bar and shouts) Gently guys, quiet, empty tankards, I pay the tour.
Steffy : He becomes crazy !… (she goes out)
George : Poor little darlings.... I'll get them both from the bondage of this crazy business. Finished receiving insults, finished all these hecklers hanged at the counter, finished George a tour here, a tour over there and speed. And you may notice all those who say speed, 3 hours later they are still there. Everything will change with this after winning paper, it should not be a cuckold .... (If taking) No… Simone wouldn’t do such a thing with me ... Let’s say that it is a fluke ... but still not ... cuckold ... .no ... ..no ... never!
Simone : Look…wanting to lay the pubs, my attention was drawn by the notarial page . ... .ha, Here ...
George : Magnificent villa for sale ... ... .plain-foot park, pond ... 2 garages ... ... 1200m2. Field of Astrid Ball in Greensboro. high ground overlooking a panoramic view of Charlotte. My God… Simone…It is what I dreamed of for our old days.
Simone : That, that would please me too, a plain-foot park on the heights of the city ... Finally the outdoor life.
George : A garden…
Simone : Many trees…
George : The countryside…it is too beautyful ... I’m dreaming .... Well…Go…it is sold, I buy it !
Simone : You buy it ?…
George : We buy it !!!
Simone : What is its price ?!!!
George : (Looking at the newspaper) Wow ... ..Barely… 1.200.000 dollars !….
Simone : So much ?…
George : : More notary fees, and some tips and stuff here and there ... it will turn in 1.500.000 dollars. We will not talk for a few cents anyway. I'm rich as Croesus now!
Simone : : But, George, you do not even know the amount you have won.
George : Do not get worried my dear, in that game they do not look nearly 1 million. I'll ask Steffy to call the notary…His name is ... Wait a minute, I put my glasses ... Notary Clayton. He must come immediately.
Simone : Do you think a notary will come immediately just for you ?…
George : : Time to hang up, and he will already be there. Take a piece of paper to write its coordinates. When I think I'm rich since Saturday night and I didn’t know. With this crazy trade, we don’t even take the time to live. You have a pen ?
Simone : Wait a minute…well…I’m listening to you !…
George : Good…please…write…Notary Clayton…from Charlotte !…
Simone : Well…after ?…
George : I tell you: Clayton, notary, Place Arenberg, (comma) to Charlotte.
Simone : We hope indeed that it will be a good deal for Arenberg. (Moved, she confuses words)
George : Instead of jabbering, write it properly for once…
Simone : Wow ... Quiet, my dear, I am not a typist !!!
George : : For once, it would have served. Phone ... ... ..071418534 receives on appointment…and so on !...